A gym in Paris

Swimming has always been my fitness choice. But in Paris everything closes for August. Including, ludicrously enough, most public swimming pools. (If you think that's stupid, a lot of ice cream parlors close too.)

The upshot of this was that I finally shelled out and joined a gym. That's not as easy as you might imagine, because Club Med has a virtual monopoly on gyms here. And most of them are overcrowded. Then I discovered that Club Med also has an upmarket brand called Club Med Waou. The word Waou roughly translates as "wow!" or "fab!" or maybe "phwoar!" Because it's a bit pricier to join, it's more tastefully decorated and far less busy. And there's one near chez moi.

Club Med Waou Grands Boulevards turned out to be gloriously Parisian. Decorated in soothing tones of taupe and granite, it resembles a cross between a designer store and a gourmet restaurant. Its clients exercise nonchalantly, in branded sportswear, without grunting. They glow rather than perspire.

I decided to take on a coach. His name is Christof, and his catchphrase is "Encore quinze!" ("Another fifteen!"). In reality, Christof is relaxed and lighthearted. But in my imagination, he is a drill sergeant for the French Foriegn Legion. "Alors, you lazy Engleesh scuum," he sneers, "you weel leeft zeeze weights until zee moossels bourst, compris?!" And then he makes me do eighty abdominal crunches with pebbles in my mouth.

In fact my goal is merely to strengthen the muscles that will make me a better swimmer. Not exactly Michael Phelps, just me with fuel injection. Anyway, the Branded Female has forbidden me to try for a body like Daniel Craig's ("Le brute," she cries, having preferred Pierce Brosnan). So I will not be ripped. I will merely be taught. Which is not bad, after all.

Comments

[vintageflowers]

I love the leopard swimsuit with the moustache ,tres chic!I wonder if James Bond will wear that next...

[Alexia.]

Oh my god, I almost choked on my marshmallow because of Christof! I surely adore this character!

[Alexia.]

Oh my god, I almost choked on my marshmallow because of Christof! I surely adore this character!